January

Love is a concept I cannot grasp;
Like an algorithm, it is perplexing,
Just over my head 
and out of reach.
Straight-A Student without a clue.
I can tell you what love is...
I can illuminate a field with the starlight in my eyes 
as I explain it to you.
I've seen it. Felt it. Breathed it in...
But Time was not on my side,
And I became accustomed to getting hurt,
     hunkering down,
     and waiting for
T h e    D  a  r  k. n  e s s
to Transform into the temporary Relief of Sunrise.
For the light is always brightest in the morning,
And waking gives birth to Hope.
January
Was Finally an infinite exhale...unrealized at first.
An Endless Promise of SunLight.
Nighttime meant nothing more, nothing less
Than Endless Illumination.
She was finally Holding onto Hope 
miraculously. gently. gradually, yet quickly
It Grew
From a tiny spark into a glorious flame,
And it burned quietly, peacefully, effortlessly...
So unfamiliar to finally Exhale, Relax,
Breathe in Life that Cultivated an unexpected, innocent Love.
He Did what he Said.
He Respected her and he Honored her.
He followed through
in January.
And they were a match.
He made her a heart out of river rocks
And held her hand as she carefully stepped from stone to stone,
Until she made it across the babbling water
Safe in his arms.
Their hands seamlessly fit together.
She didn't notice, wasn't watching for 
the first sunset in January.
The darkness stealthily crept into the space between them,
Like ice forming inside tiny cracks of rock, slowly expanding.
January was suddenly cold,
And she still can't seem to shake the chill that haunts her, 
deep within her bones.
A horrifying shock of burning rubber and shattered glass...
Squinting and choking from the airbag dust, 
she turns her head to the left 
And reaches for him,
but there is no driver.
Out of reach...Without a clue.
He does not exist.
All the colors fade...into February.

-smc-